6 Days Left...

Thank you Mom and Papa (and my grandparents!) for paying for my education in the past. I cannot express how blessed I feel that you wanted to take care of that for me and provide that for me.

And I have discovered something: the student loans are such a headache! There is so much paperwork to take care of and things that I am told I must do in order to receive the loan. I don't like the feeling that the school is waiting until the last minute to finalize everything. I start classes on Monday, and I still have not found out when the loan money will be disbursed for my tuition. Only last Monday I was sent an email (everything is done online nowadays) to complete my Master Promisory Note saying that I promise to repay the loan. Is this the norm? Is everything taken care of right before the semester starts? I would rather have had this done by July 1 to make sure everything was taken care of long before class starts.

I suppose I should have expected the paperwork and the red tape. Education is a large expense, right up there with houses and cars. It's going to probably be the second or third-largest investment you make in your entire life (depending of course on what schools you choose and how high of a degree you go for). The only difference between school and your house or car is that your education can never be taken away. Whatever you get out of class, whatever you take away from your program, that is yours forever. Unless you don't attend class at all and fail out your first term, you will come away with something. You will have more than you started with. No other investment will give you that guarantee. How incredible.

Farmor, once again I hear you telling me "Education is something that no one will ever be able to take from you." I thought I understood you when you told me this over 10 years ago, but I didn't have the context of adulthood through which to view it. I think going through the recession for the past couple of years makes this even more poignant. Your house can foreclose, you can lose your job, and you can be thousands of dollars in debt (as so many people right now have gone through), but the collection agency will never be able to take back what you have learned. Even when you have nothing material, you will always have your education.

Starting Monday, I'm investing in education.

The suspense is killing me. I want to start my classes and get going already.

I've spent the last couple of months since my acceptance letter mentally preparing myself for this big change in my life. I've gone over my checklist to make sure everything is taken care of on time; I bought my textbooks and started reading through one of them to get a head start on my studying; I almost obsessively check and re-check my student account online to make sure no new message has come through. It seems that in an effort to prepare myself for the big day, I've over-prepared myself.

It's almost laughable how much of a switch has happened in the last couple of weeks. Just last month, I was looking to the end of summer with trepidation and anxiety, not sure if I was ready for this. Questions swam through my head, like little fish flitting around and trying to escape the fishbowl. Now, the questions no longer hound me; they have settled to the bottom of the bowl like pebbles and are content to see how things play out. Anxiety and trepidation are no longer the words of the day. Now I want things to happen--and soon. I want the waiting to come to an end.

I'm sure that next July, after I have a year of school under my belt, I will look back on these few months of preparation as nothing more than amusing. I will have become a seasoned student by then, and will possess the confidence that goes with having developed a routine and knowing what to expect. For now, I wait on the edge of my seat for next month and the start of my new program.

This Time It Will Be Different

When I first went to college, I was fresh out of high school. Up until that point, I had been dependent on others to make sure that I had what I needed. My parents provided all of my basic needs and some of the things I wanted (books, computer, video games, etc.). They did a good job of taking care of me. Now I realize how good I had it.

As a fresh addition to the college scene, I suddenly had the realization that my parents were no longer nearby, hovering in the area to tell me what I could and couldn't do. I was a two-hour drive away, which felt like 1,000 miles because they weren't there to discipline me. I could stay out until 2:00am if I wanted to. I could sleep as late as I wanted and eat ice cream for breakfast. I had a taste of adulthood, and I have to admit that I let my academics slip down my priority list. I was new to this freedom, and only had to answer to myself. It was a liberating feeling.

And then reality hit. I found that skipping classes made my grades fall. I found that if I only put 75% into my work, I won't get back 100%. I'll get back only 75%. I started to feel overwhelmed, and I can't help but think that if my first few steps had been more focused and more disciplined that the rest of my college experience would have been completely different. It wasn't until my third year of college, after I transferred, that I started to get my head on straight and was more focused on my work. My biggest regret of college is that I lost those first two (important) years.

So this time, I will be doing things right. I have more of a motivation this time around because I'm spending my own money on my education, so I better make the most of it and get my money's worth. But I also want to do things right for my own education's sake. I want to leave my Master's program knowing that I did my best the whole way. I don't want any regrets during this part of my journey. My grandmother on my dad's side once told me, "Education is the most valuable thing you can have because no one can take that away from you." Farmor, you were a wise woman. It is valuable, and I want to make sure for the sake of my future in this career that I do all I can to reap this value to its fullest.