This Time It Will Be Different

When I first went to college, I was fresh out of high school. Up until that point, I had been dependent on others to make sure that I had what I needed. My parents provided all of my basic needs and some of the things I wanted (books, computer, video games, etc.). They did a good job of taking care of me. Now I realize how good I had it.

As a fresh addition to the college scene, I suddenly had the realization that my parents were no longer nearby, hovering in the area to tell me what I could and couldn't do. I was a two-hour drive away, which felt like 1,000 miles because they weren't there to discipline me. I could stay out until 2:00am if I wanted to. I could sleep as late as I wanted and eat ice cream for breakfast. I had a taste of adulthood, and I have to admit that I let my academics slip down my priority list. I was new to this freedom, and only had to answer to myself. It was a liberating feeling.

And then reality hit. I found that skipping classes made my grades fall. I found that if I only put 75% into my work, I won't get back 100%. I'll get back only 75%. I started to feel overwhelmed, and I can't help but think that if my first few steps had been more focused and more disciplined that the rest of my college experience would have been completely different. It wasn't until my third year of college, after I transferred, that I started to get my head on straight and was more focused on my work. My biggest regret of college is that I lost those first two (important) years.

So this time, I will be doing things right. I have more of a motivation this time around because I'm spending my own money on my education, so I better make the most of it and get my money's worth. But I also want to do things right for my own education's sake. I want to leave my Master's program knowing that I did my best the whole way. I don't want any regrets during this part of my journey. My grandmother on my dad's side once told me, "Education is the most valuable thing you can have because no one can take that away from you." Farmor, you were a wise woman. It is valuable, and I want to make sure for the sake of my future in this career that I do all I can to reap this value to its fullest.