This Time It Will Be Different

When I first went to college, I was fresh out of high school. Up until that point, I had been dependent on others to make sure that I had what I needed. My parents provided all of my basic needs and some of the things I wanted (books, computer, video games, etc.). They did a good job of taking care of me. Now I realize how good I had it.

As a fresh addition to the college scene, I suddenly had the realization that my parents were no longer nearby, hovering in the area to tell me what I could and couldn't do. I was a two-hour drive away, which felt like 1,000 miles because they weren't there to discipline me. I could stay out until 2:00am if I wanted to. I could sleep as late as I wanted and eat ice cream for breakfast. I had a taste of adulthood, and I have to admit that I let my academics slip down my priority list. I was new to this freedom, and only had to answer to myself. It was a liberating feeling.

And then reality hit. I found that skipping classes made my grades fall. I found that if I only put 75% into my work, I won't get back 100%. I'll get back only 75%. I started to feel overwhelmed, and I can't help but think that if my first few steps had been more focused and more disciplined that the rest of my college experience would have been completely different. It wasn't until my third year of college, after I transferred, that I started to get my head on straight and was more focused on my work. My biggest regret of college is that I lost those first two (important) years.

So this time, I will be doing things right. I have more of a motivation this time around because I'm spending my own money on my education, so I better make the most of it and get my money's worth. But I also want to do things right for my own education's sake. I want to leave my Master's program knowing that I did my best the whole way. I don't want any regrets during this part of my journey. My grandmother on my dad's side once told me, "Education is the most valuable thing you can have because no one can take that away from you." Farmor, you were a wise woman. It is valuable, and I want to make sure for the sake of my future in this career that I do all I can to reap this value to its fullest.

School+Work=No Life!

It's hard to go back to school. I have a lot of respect for those working adults who decide to return to school and essentially retrain (or those who have had to consider school and/or new training in order to get a new job in these hard times). It's not an easy thing to do.

Once you enter the work force, your mindset changes. You're in the make-a-living-and-pay-the-bills-so-I can-keep-my-apartment/house frame of mind. Your focus has changed. You're worrying about the day-to-day minutiae of house chores, getting Comcast their money by the due date so you can keep your cable, feeding pets, running errands, and getting that latest project at work done on time. If you have kids, you get to add the feeding and caring of your children to that list. Who has time to write a 15-page paper when there's already so much that demands your attention?

That's one of the reasons I find going back to school so challenging. On top of all of the things that I have to take care of on a daily/weekly basis, now I get to add school and the hours I'll have to dedicate to my studies. As my boss told me when I was discussing it with him, "you won't have much of a life."

Luckily, my boss, my mother, and my boyfriend have all been really supportive of my decision to go back to school. My boss is willing to work with me and make my hours a little more flexible if I need it once I start classes. As a woman who has gone back to school to get her college degree, my mother is a great sounding board for anything involved with returning to school. My boyfriend has been another shoulder for me to lean on and listen to me when I worry, and encourage me by saying that I can accomplish this. I have been so blessed with my support system.

I have already registered for my classes. I will be only taking four units my first semester. I thought I would be able to be really ambitious and take six, but my advisor suggested easing into school, rather than jumping in head first. After taking the time to think about some of the things that I've put into words here, I realized that her suggestion would be the smart thing to do. I would hate to over-estimate my abilities and do poorly in classes I need to do well in. So I will get my feet wet and we'll see if I can jump to six units for the spring semester of next year.

It can do a person a world of good to find out that the first-semester jitters are not unique to her alone. I've been checking some of the older forums on a student community site hosted by the school, and every single new semester is filled with students who sound just as excited, scared, nervous, and overwhelmed as I do. To anyone else new to their program who is reading this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

I have the New Student Checklist that my school offers and it has been an enormous help. If anyone is trying to go it alone their first semester, please do yourself a favor and use your school's resources (even if all you do is talk to your advisor). You may find what they have to be a great tool to "newbies," and I am constantly referring to my list to make sure that I am getting everything done.

But even with the help of said list, I still find myself worrying. Will I be able to get the classes I want? Can I handle the work load? How many classes should I take my first semester? What if I overlooked something? Will I get the financial aid that I need? How much time a week will I have to give to school? Will I be okay with classes AND my full-time job?

Round and round these questions go in my head. From what I've read on the school forums, several students who got through their first semesters said that you get used to it, that you settle into a routine. Their advice is to remain calm. Well, in my case that's easier said than done.

But I'll try to look at this objectively. I'm probably making more of this than it warrants. I do tend to worry a lot more than the situation deserves. And day 1 of the new semester is still a few months off. I have all summer to get used to the idea that I'm going back to school. So I'll try to take a deep breath, hold my head high, and relax.

Good luck to everyone else who is approaching their first semester of their degree program!

The Journey Has Begun

Never in a million years did I think I would be here right now. "Here" being on the precipice of going for a Master's Degree.



It's been an interesting trip down this road that has been my education. I guess this is indicative of my life in general--I never seem to do things the "normal" way. My brother would be the perfect poster child for the story of an aspiring run-of-the-mill college/grad student. He did things very by the book. He started right after high school, finished in four years, went on to grad school, and is now in his second year going for his PhD.



I, on the other hand, have danced to my own beat. I finished my Bachelor's in just under six years. I took my time mainly because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do for a career. I thought teaching would be a good choice for me. Then I spent one year (my first year teaching) as a sixth-grade teacher at a school in a very tough part of Stockton. I can sense the natural cringe from those who are familiar with the area. To give others not familiar with this part of the country an idea, the year was rife with knife incidents, fights, and a police raid next door. Yes, it really was that bad. I felt so out of my element. It was certainly a wake-up call that teaching was maybe not for me.



Then I got a job at a trade school. I didn't start out as the Librarian, but that's where I have ended up. I started as the tutor for incoming students before they take the entrance exam. When the position for Library Coordinator opened up, I jumped at the chance and took it. And surprisingly, I found a match made in heaven. Late last year, I was made full Librarian. I really enjoy what I do, and I feel a strong sense of accomplishment with what I have been able organize for the Learning Resource Center at the school. It was my kinship with this career that inspired me to go further with my education in order to make me even better at what I do.



And who knows? This may open up other doors for me. But never did I realize that a Master's was in my future.